Posted in Parenting, Mom, mom life, mothers, mom blog, mommy, mama, children, toddlers, babies, PPD, PPA, Postpartum, Postpartum Depression, Postpartum Anxiety, Parenting, Mother, Mom, Babies, Newborn

Guilty Mom Stress!

I’ve always worked better under stress, but not mom stress! Not even close! The stress as a mom is debilitating! Sometimes it stops me in my tracks. That means that I completely shut down and hand everything over to my husband so I can close the world out. I’m lucky I have that option right now … but,

It is NOT a good coping mechanism.

FullSizeRender

I am actually doing better with it now, but when I happen upon a day or two, or three, of overwhelming tension, well, I suppose it sets me right back to that very scary place.

As a woman we are already carrying such a heavy hormonal load, and with that comes stress, but add to that pregnancy, aging, and family and we are in the throes of a treacherous hormonal stress storm. I had my babies later in life, so it was a double whammy of hellish symptoms. On top of that my thyroid was failing, and failing hard! What a gift! Then I had my second child and I got a lovely dose of postpartum depression and anxiety, just to sweeten the pot. Stress was almost impossible to handle, I say almost, but it felt impossible. I suppose I did it, but not well. Because of that I harbor a tremendous amount of guilt, and to this day when I feel my patience slipping I have guilt that is overwhelming, like the stress and hormonal shifts are not enough torture. I suppose, if I am trying to be an optimist, the guilt is a good thing. Maybe it keeps us in check and helps to move us towards healing. Maybe it pushes us to fight harder for peace and patience, that’s all I really want is to be able to wake in the morning feeling peaceful and go about my day, enjoying the moments and time with my babies. People always tell you to enjoy this time, that is passes so fast, and they are so right, but sometimes the enjoyment is hard to come by and then the guilt of knowing that you have limited time to enjoy these babies and that this is your job and you’re suppose to love it fully and without resentment or longing for that stress you thought was stressful before children. Good grief! We are supposed to be super human, all that and we need to age like Benjamin Button. It’s exhausting to be a woman and stressful to even think about!

So for today, I am going to take a deep breath, let it out, and fake it till I make it, because today my children don’t know I am stressed, and I suppose that is a step in the right direction – no guilt today!

Posted in Parenting, Mom, mom life, mothers, mom blog, mommy, mama, children, toddlers, babies, Uncategorized

The Work NEVER Ends, Accept it!

FullSizeRenderHere’s me sitting around on my ass all day like most SAHM’s! (Back off aggressors, it’s a joke! Keep reading.)

The day never ends! It is a continuous cycle of to-do’s! And I’m lucky, I have help. The hubby helps a lot! I cannot complain, but I can, and I do, WE do, because the work never ends! It literally NEVER ends!

Parenthood!

I know you know what I mean! And lets add to that … school events. Our oldest is in kinder, this is our first year with school events and after school activities (soccer), and friends and the guilt that goes along with not being able to set up play dates because the house isn’t clean and there is so much to do and you’re sooooo…. exhausted and it’s endless and it’s really all just starting a new chapter of a new kind of busy and we can say that we love it,  but do we (large gasp for air)?

That is the exhaustion talking!

When we take a break from the chaos we often find ourselves thinking about that same thing we are taking a break from: looking at pictures and videos of our life, thinking and worrying about our babes, so, yeah, this is parenting! As much as you want to run away at times,  you run right back worried and filled with a whole new love to start the first 10 minutes before you’re ready to run away again for a drink, and sadly I don’t drink, but the hubby has an occasional adult beverage; lucky him!

I think the key here (and I am just learning this after only seven years of it) is that you have to let the to-do’s stay on the list and enjoy things once in a while or you will lose your bananas. I mean, I can’t live in chaos, so I hear that argument, but sometimes you need to leave the chaos of laundry and dishes and diapers and dusting and dinner and … grab something quick so you can sit outside with your family and listen to the birds while your children get completely covered in mud. Let go of the fear that dirt and germs are going to get them and let them live a little (this has been a HUGE struggle for this mom). Let go of the thought about how much work it’s going to be to clean those little buggers off after (you could pull out the hose). You have to be okay with the constant life of dishes and laundry and not allow it to consume you.  How? I can’t be sure, but I think the secret is acceptance. It’s the acceptance that sets us free. Accepting it and allowing it and not trying to completely control it to the point of exhaustion and insanity.

So tonight while I am not feeling overwhelmed and not feeling the pressure of having to live up to a certain standard, I let things stay the way they are: messy! And I feel okay. I feel good. I feel happy! Even with the sink full of dishes, and dirt pretty much all over everything (we have two boys), and laundry (and that could be left out because it’s a given that it never ends), because we had fun today!  The day was busy and exhausting but, we played together. We talked about our summer gardening plans. We sat outside together and ate dinner: a calm mama, two dirty kids, a jolly hubby, and very little care about our ongoing to-do’s.

So take a day to play, and let go if you can. No guilt! No pressure! Just take a day to be and laugh and let the dishes and laundry pile high, they will be there tomorrow no matter what, and that’s okay!

 

Sincerely,

Mean Mama

Posted in Parenting, Mom, mom life, mothers, mom blog, mommy, mama, children, toddlers, babies, Uncategorized

Rant #2

bed-bug-city-map

Current rant … Sooooooo, my son gently told me that he has to bring the stuffed animal that he sleeps with into school for music class next week. Ummmmmmmm?                 Yeah … NO!

Seriously, Music Teacher? Seriously?

Okay, I am that mom! The mom that thinks about the things that maybe you don’t, but I do and I can’t help it, and some of you are thinking it right along with me. I know you are! It’s scary and it can be devastating and I think the music teacher should have thought about it … BED BUGS!

Yeah! I said it! I am guilty of thinking it. Am I being paranoid? I mean, it has been an epidemic, and not just in this state, so please back me if you can with a BIG FAT NO to the music teacher for her very sweet and well-meaning idea of songs by the campfire with our furry sleeping friends. But No! We will not participate in this and I hope they reconsider after my kind email to his teacher.

I’m sorry, try not to hate me, but I had to! Haha!

 

 

 

 

And … just an FYI, these rants are not blogs as much as they are, well … rants! Just a quick humorous jot about the everyday happenings that are the result of parenting. I am the mother of a 6 yo and a 2 yo, so I will have plenty to write (bitch) about. Ha!

Posted in Parenting, Mom, mom life, mothers, mom blog, mommy, mama, children, toddlers, babies

RANT # 1

Okay, this is rant number one for my blog, but it’s just one in the line of many before it.

My 2 yo! Yes, that sweet bundle of joy that everyone gushes over when I take him out of the house, just scared the life out of me!

I KNOW YOU’VE EXPERIENCED SOMETHING SIMILAR!

As I attempt to fix my mom hair, my sweet loving 2 yo starts to make this weird noise, sort of like choking, kind of not, but moms check. So I call him … nothing! Call to him again, and this noise again, make my way through the series of baby proofed gates and run around screaming his name. NOTHING! Then I stop, terrified, looking around like I live in a 3000 sq ft home (one floor, 1000 sq ft living) and hear the noise again. I run to his room looking around horrified. And… he’s hiding. I know this because I scream for him frantically and he pops out from behind the door and yells surprise (in his very cute, I can barely talk, two-year-old voice).

Yeah! Mom life! Ha!